I was terribly, utterly, ludicrously wrong.
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| To explain my feelings, visually, in an artistic metaphor |
It was my first inkling that the world of adult authority is not based on The Scientific Method. In fact, many decades later, I've decided it more closely resembles a bunch of well-meaning, but inebriated, people with a dartboard.
Nonetheless, I managed, until some mid-life medical decisions plunged me into hell. And the world of medicine, which was instrumental in getting me into this state, turned out to be no help at all when it came to getting me out.
It took the World Wide Web. well-honed research skills, my innate tenacity, and a desperate willingness to try almost anything. The miserable part was quite the incentive all by itself. But there was also the fact that the timing was downright evil.
I was just getting a lot of obligations out of the way, I had some wonderful projects I wanted to work on, I had built up a base of skills and understanding. And I can barely get out of bed? I can barely get through the day? There are times when I have trouble thinking? And I can't sleep?
I became driven to not only regain my health, but to surpass my previous state. Now I have to live a long life because this half belongs to me.
I was able to put a lot of pieces together. I'm still in the process. There's a red barn, with most of its roof, and you can tell it's in a field. There's a crow, but it's hard to tell what it's sitting upon.
I know we're supposed to do the edges of the puzzle, first. But, sometimes, things don't work that way.
Beautiful post. Very interesting title and one that I'm going to think about and use--"this half belongs to me" strikes me as an incredibly important observation. I was thinking about this, too, though not in those words, in dicussing how I feel about Hillary Clinton. My husband (who, g'd bless him, will vote straight ticket democrat though hell's toothed vagina should bar the way) says, like a lot of guys "I don't want a dynasty, I don't want another Clinton, and after all she was already first lady..." I had to educate him on the fact that women's lives in politics, as elsewhere, frequently follow this path. This is the traditional path for women, though these days of course it seems less necessary. But Nancy Pelosi and Ginsburg, too, had to detour through years of wifehood, family raising, etc...before they burst on the scene politically. I'm also "une femme d'une certain age" and really contemplating what my third act is going to be. Your post helps me frame that. Thank you so much.
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